Another Amir: Satirical Anarchist
Written by johnleemk on 12:22:54 am Mar 29, 2007.
Categories: Malaysian Politics
The New Straits Times used to run a satire column every Thursday, written by Amir Muhammad. Unfortunately, it seems to have either fallen foul of the powers that be, or flown over the heads of most Malaysians, because the NST has since stopped publishing satire.
Fortunately, I now know where to go when I need to laugh about the state of Malaysian politics — Amir Hafizi is the man. I probably sound like a bit of a fanboy, having devoted articles such as A Malay Male Slams Malaysian Malaysia and the Opposition to him. But I can't help it. The man's hilarious.
Politics is a serious business. But because we treat it with such gravitas, our righteous fury can sometimes be lost on ourselves and others. Often, it's difficult to make a point when you're getting all worked up in a hardhitting tirade against the status quo. It's also difficult to have that point understood when you're boring people with your rants.
That's why satire is such an important tool for communicating politics to the masses. Political cartoons have been in vogue for centuries, and it's not for no good reason. People understand the point you make better when they're laughing at your opponent.
Even if you're a political aficionado, satire is helpful. It's always good to be receptive to criticism, but by nature, humans are disinclined to listen to people who directly attack their beliefs. An indirect attack by means of satire is often more conducive to opening your mind and at least letting you consider the possibility that you might be wrong.
With all these benefits of satire, you might be wondering why I don't write parodies more often. Although I'd like to think that I have a bit of a flair for parodying songs, I'm quite confident that I'd be hopeless at writing real satire. The best I might have gotten is this parody of "Keranamu Malaysia", a patriotic song:
Buruh nelayan dan juga petani
Gaya hidup kini masih sama
Anak-anak terhapus mindanya
Mati generasi bijak bodoh
Pakar seksi, pakar pornografi
Kakitangan kerajaan dan jutawan
Berkereta jenama negara
Megah menyusur di dalam longkang
Alam cyber
Teknologi terlampau
Kejayaan semakin jauhi
Biar di kota, ataupun desa
Kita semua pasti dibom Osama
Keranamu kami hanya fikir bangsa
Keranamu kami hidup terseksa
Keranamu kami malas berfikiran
Limpah bumi hanya hak bumiputra
Keranamu kami bertengkaran
Keranamu kami tidak belajar
Keranamu tentulah kami berbunuh-bunuhan
Demi bangsa matilah negara
Keranamu negara Malaysia
Malaysia...terima kasih Malaysia!
Maybe I'm too Malaysian to have the right mindset to properly make fun of the establishment. (Or maybe my sense of humour is too poorly developed.) At any rate, that's why it's refreshing to run into anarchists like Amir Hafizi who don't have any such qualms.
Satire may seem immature at times. But only satire is capable of breaking down our mental resistance to questioning our established thoughts and views. Only satire is capable of developing our political maturity, and making us laugh at the same time.
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johnleemk
Infernally Rambling Thoughtless Mind Head Administrator Posts: 948 IP Logged | Posted at 1:30:53 pm Aug 18, 2005
This has been reposted from Malaysia Today. If you don't read this whole thing, it's your loss, not mine. But I'm sure you'll read it once you realise there's a little song at the end of this post... mat_saman: Leaving aside the question of whether it is true that the non-Malays still vote for BN, the fact remains that the opposition is simply incompetent. They have no plan for running the country. They have no unified platform. They have no meaningful manifesto. All they know how to do is bi*** and complain. They've set themselves up as perpetual opposers, so they can never advance farther than that. I honestly wish Gerakan would withdraw from BN, or another multiracial party in the spirit of Dato' Onn's Independence Malaya Party were set up. Then we'd have a fair fight. The BA is just set up on the same premise as BN - one party for the Malays, one for the Indians, one for the Chinese, etc. Truth: First of all, what "rights" do Malays have, exactly? Or to be more precise, why do they have these rights? Is it because they supposedly have been here longer than us? (In that case, why aren't people like Tian Chua, who are descended from the Chinese who arrived during the Malaccan sultanate, considered Bumis?) Or are these rights handed to you simply because you are Malay and I am not? I do not think having a label slapped on you suddenly entitles you to more rights than someone who is equally capable, patriotic and loyal but without a label. Discrimination based on a factor that is completely arbitrary and exists only because of an accident of birth is unfair discrimination, plain and simple. I think vernacular schools should be abolished. I have attended one, and know many who have, and it's almost universally acclaimed by those of us not from vernacular schools that these places screw with kids' heads. It's not just the chauvinism or whatnot...the way they think, the way they behave, is completely different. They are simply robotic and inhuman (this is particularly true of students from Chinese schools). I think the idea of vernacular schools is simply ridiculous. What "right" do Chinese have to demand public funds for the building and operating of schools used only by a certain ethnic group? (Oh sure, anyone can enter, but how many Malay or Indian parents have kids in Chinese schools?) These Chinese don't clamour for such bulls*** abroad, and it should be the same here. Johnleemk, I give you the benefit of the doubt as to your age and feel for your disgust for the comments made to the extent of describing the road back to the mainland. I'm sorry if this casts any aspersions on your character, but didn't you just tell Mike Yang to "let it be or HIT THE ROAD!!!" I urge you in return to appreciate our disgust to the strong admission with conviction, that this country relies on the Chinese for their economic brilliance and the impliance that the Malays are a useless bunch. Sigh...that's the whole f***ing point. Don't you get it? This classic stereotyping - it's groundless, completely without basis in fact, and here we are trying to argue that Chinese are not universally greedy or that Malays are not universally lazy! Until we see each other as human beings and fellow citizens, there can be no agreement on this issue of the social contract. If you see me as a greedy, traitorous Chinese demon, and I see you as a lazy, good-for-nothing Malay moron, is it any wonder we can't come to agree on anything? Drop the f***ing stereotype of Chinese as greedy capitalists. Drop the f***ing stereotype of Malays as lazy, incompetent fools. Drop the f***ing stereotype of Indians as ignorant gangsters. Once we appreciate that we are all equally human and all liable to make mistakes, and that there can be a greedy Malay just as much as there can be a lazy Chinese, then we can move forward to racial unity. They forget that it is UMNO that gave them the tools to trade without which they would be useless as well. What, citizenship? Yeah, and this debt is considered paid in full when? A hundred years from now? Two hundred? When will we finally be recognised as equals? Do the American whites ever discriminate against Blacks post-Civil War because "Our grandfathers fought for your freedom, so you owe us our blood and sweat"? Nope. They discriminated against the Blacks because they were ba*****s, plain and simple. Likewise, did the French ever moan or bi*** to the US about helping them fight for independence and then not getting much in the way of being paid back? Hell, no. The French gave them the Statue of Liberty! Have the Brits ever asked us for anything in exchange for giving us independence without a great fight? Nope. So what the f*** is your point? The way I see it, this is just an excuse to extort more money from the non-Malay citizens, Chinese or Indian. The Chinese big shots were spoon fed by being given Gaming licenses which generates much $$$$$ which in turn finances the Chinese schools and associations etc. So? F*** those big shots and let them earn the licenses the hard way! Let me add that even the uneducated Chinese are allowed to make money through illegal gambling and selling knockoffs at petaling street, not to mention money lending. So? Arrest them! I don't care. If you break the law, you're a criminal, Malay, Chinese or Indian. Are you telling me that as part of this social contract, you allow Chinese to break the law in return for extortion from us? It was the Malays who built highways that we use today. It is the Malays who run the utility firms in our country. There you go again. It is not Malays. It is Malaysians. Stop harping on this racial issue. You're letting us be divided and ruled by the UMNOputras, MCApparatchiks and MICorrupteds. Blanket statements like that are wrong. After all, there are a small percentage of non-Malay employees in infrastructure companies, aren't there? Furthermore, remember that the NEP's goal was to avoid identification of economic function with race. Division such as this goes directly against it. Once again, do not feel hurt by these hostilities unless you are one of those who keep on questioning our rights. Why the aggression? In the first place, why those rights? Why do they belong to you? Why not an equally loyal, patriotic, hardworking Chinese or Indian? Is it their fault they were not born Malay? And what about the Malays who are not as loyal as these Chinese or Indians, such as the communist, Rashid Maidin? What about the Malays who do slack off and disgrace the Malays who do work their asses off? Why are they still better than a loyal, hardworking Chinese? This is the very thing, Indians should say something about stuff like this, not the Chinese who have enough. What's wrong about sticking up for your fellow citizens who are equally Malaysian as you? Do you have a problem with that? Why are we still Indian and Chinese instead of Malaysians on things like these? Would you dare say this to a White in America who marched with Martin Luther King, Jr.? Is it hard to admit that even the Chinese need help to survive? They are not an invincible lot. Precisely why ALL f***ing subsidies designed to benefit people based only on accidents of birth (i.e. race, gender) should be eliminated once and for all. What, are going to drain the country's coffers dry supporting those too weak to survive? There's no such thing as a free lunch. Somebody has to pay for these things. If not the rich tycoons, then the common man. If not the Malays, then the Chinese and Indians. If not the Malays, Chinese and Indians, then who? Is this a pyramid scheme? That is why we despise the complaints about them being oppressed due to our holding on to our birthright, viewing the fact that they are free to indulge in activities of their culture even if it is against the laws of Islam. Why is it your birthright? Would you be happy if you were in the minority and the Chinese held this birthright? As for things against the law of Islam, get real buddy. The Sultans unanimously opposed naming any religion as the official religion of Malaysia; this was among the findings of the Reid Commission, as I quoted in the post I linked to above. Silat Ratu Adil, If I were born in China, or live in Singapore, I'd learn to live with the situation as it is destined. I'm grateful to God that in this life ( in the Chinese sense ) I'm living in a country where my ethnic origin remain the masters of this soil. So basically it all depends on the roll of the dice? If you end up as a Jew in Nazi Germany, oh that's too bad, live with it. God doesn't like you, so he put you there. This fatalist attitude really pisses me off. It's like telling the Blacks in pre-1960s America "Oh, God has put you through these trials for reason. Accept your fate and live with it." It's nonsensical. If you are not as fortunate and are unhappy about it, wanting everything under the Sun ie, power, wealth, bigger opportunities, then I suggest you either move to Disneyland or to the land of your forefathers. I don't need to move there. The reason I want to stay here is because I love this country. But if you're going to insinuate that loving my country means putting my loyalty above my rice bowl, or my loyalty above my dignity, forget it, pal. I'm an honest man, but I'm not a sucker. I don't want power. I want equality. Equal rights. Equal opportunities. I know someone who, when getting government contracts, has to go through a Malay because the government only awards contracts to Malays. This guy then subcontracts it to this man. Because he isn't well-connected, this man uses a Chinese negotiator to find a Malay willing to subcontract. The Malay and Chinese interferers, who do nothing but use their name to get the contract and find the person with the right race, get as much as 40 to 50% of the money from the contract. Is that fair? I don't think so. And I don't need to move to China for fair opportunities. If I'm good, I'm good anywhere that has no arbitrary discrimination policies. I can be a success in the US, or NZ or UK or whatever. But then again, why am I even bothering to respond to you since making the deduction that you are a Malay, or mamak, and yet you are taking sides with the irresponsible non bumis in this. The f***? You have just characterised 40% of Malaysia's citizens as "irresponsible" and you expect a rational debate? Here we are faced with the enemy who question our rights and you want to make this an issue between us. Again, why are we, your fellow citizens, your enemies? Maybe when MCA, DAP & Gerakan merge to become bintang tiga, we'll see if you sing the same tune. Yeah, sure, any political party without many Malays is a communist traitorous organisation that is an enemy to the country and your "rights". You are a traitor to the Malays and Islam!! Wait, wait. You talk about equal rights with those of another race and suddenly you are an apostate? I LOVE THIS COUNTRY It is proven here, as much as we dislike it, that UMNO is the party that best represents the Malays in Malaysia. Yes, the party that only gives APs to the bumis that know someone in UMNO is the best representative of the Malays. In short, we should not question your inalienable "rights" because you were here "first" (except for the Ibans and Kadazans, etc. who are sidelined for unknown reasons, as well as the Chinese from Hang Li Po's time for more unknown reasons, and the Orang Asli for more unknown reasons). These rights are part of a social contract that allows Chinese to backstab and steal in exchange for paying a race tax to allow rich Malay tycoons to live a jetsetting lifestyle while their brethren in the kampung live without electricity or water. Anyone who questions these rights is an irresponsible enemy. Any Malay or Muslim who shows the slightest agreement with the non-Malays is a traitor to his race, culture and religion. I've said it before; I'll say it again. I LOVE THIS MOTHERF***ING COUNTRY AND THE MOTHERF***ING GENIUSES WHO RUN IT Buruh nelayan dan juga petani Gaya hidup kini masih sama Anak-anak terhapus mindanya Mati generasi bijak bodoh Pakar seksi, pakar pornografi Kakitangan kerajaan dan jutawan Berkereta jenama negara Megah menyusur di dalam longkang Alam cyber Teknologi terlampau Kejayaan semakin jauhi Biar di kota, ataupun desa Kita semua pasti dibom Osama Keranamu kami hanya fikir bangsa Keranamu kami hidup terseksa Keranamu kami malas berfikiran Limpah bumi hanya hak bumiputra Keranamu kami bertengkaran Keranamu kami tidak belajar Keranamu tentulah kami berbunuh-bunuhan Demi bangsa matilah negara Keranamu negara Malaysia Malaysia...terima kasih Malaysia! |
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Nuitari
Member Posts: 224 IP Logged | Posted at 2:34:09 am Aug 21, 2005
... read most of it got bored but the GREAT bumis get extras that we don't is because last time the chinese sent thier kids 2 school but the malays tought "wad 4? my son can plant padi good enuf lar" so after 2 generations they tought s*** school IS important but by now they sunk so low they can get back up w/o the goverment. but the chinese way was (parent) i'm a hawker my son is not gona be like me. i'll do everything i can 2 send him 2 school so in return we r malaysian (the chinese) if they try 2 kil us ( like germans in germany killing jews) they cant control the economy like we do if we r gone malaysia will most undoutedly fall |
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johnleemk
Infernally Rambling Thoughtless Mind Head Administrator Posts: 948 IP Logged | Posted at 10:12:47 am Aug 21, 2005
... read most of it got bored but the GREAT bumis get extras that we don't is because last time the chinese sent thier kids 2 school but the malays tought "wad 4? my son can plant padi good enuf lar" so after 2 generations they tought s*** school IS important but by now they sunk so low they can get back up w/o the goverment. but the chinese way was (parent) i'm a hawker my son is not gona be like me. i'll do everything i can 2 send him 2 school so in return we r malaysian (the chinese) if they try 2 kil us ( like germans in germany killing jews) they cant control the economy like we do if we r gone malaysia will most undoutedly fallActually, no. It's a long story, but Bakri Musa explains that the reason for this is because the government told people to send their kids to Malay schools at a time when there were no Malay books. It screwed them up. You should read his book The Malay Dilemma Revisited. It's hilarious. According to him, there are even ministers who don't understand compound interest. I think the real problem is because they presume the status quo of economic prosperity and a veneer of national unity can last forever. The problem is, it won't. Depressions happen, and when they do, national unity falls apart if there's nothing keeping it together. Like it or not, some dumbass Malays will blame it on the Chinese, sucking all the country's wealth, and the Chinese/Indians will blame it on the Malays (which, in all fairness, is partially true). When that happens, there will be civil war, and it'll be the end of Malaysia. |
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Vamp
Flamer Administrator Posts: 456 IP Logged | Posted at 9:54:17 pm Aug 21, 2005
Whatever s*** you write about loving the country,than all im going to say is Screw you ,,/,,  |
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Nuitari
Member Posts: 224 IP Logged | Posted at 2:53:00 am Aug 24, 2005
another useless post by velocity |
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Vamp
Flamer Administrator Posts: 456 IP Logged | Posted at 8:06:08 am Aug 24, 2005
Like my signature? Specially for you hitler  |
