Ten Reasons to Vote Barisan Nasional (Part 1)

It seems more and more likely that a general election will be called soon. In the last general election, the ruling Barisan Nasional regime was returned to power with over 90% of the Parliamentary seats. Why should we vote for Barisan Nasional this time?

1. BN will defend the Constitution. In BN, everyone is united behind the Constitution — no questioning the rights of this or that community which are enshrined in the Constitution, no sirree!
   

Some might try to smear BN and point out that at UMNO's last general assembly, there were people questioning the right of non-Malays to citizenship. There are those who will claim that under the BN regime, the Constitution has been quietly amended hundreds of times over the past few decades.

Well, those are all just lies, and you shouldn't believe them! They were probably spread by some unemployed gossiping female blogger. Speaking of which, maybe we need to amend the Constitution and add in an article preventing the extension of freedom of speech to bloggers — what do you think?

2. BN will not treat the country like their personal fiefdom. Unlike some opposition parties which think Malaysia belongs to Allah/Anwar/Altantuya, BN firmly believes that the country belongs to the rakyat.
   

For this reason, BN will not wantonly spend the money of the government, which is after all the servant of the people. Instead, BN will responsibly run the country and look after the best interests of the people, and not their cronies.

In fact, who said there were any cronies? Haven't you realised how much BN politicians sacrifice to serve the people? How on earth could they have the time and energy to develop a coterie of parasites living off the largesse of the rakyat's money through contracts for shoddy and unnecessary projects? Anyone who actually believes this must have fallen for the lies of another unemployed female blogger.

3. BN will uplift the economically disadvantaged Bumiputra community. Many have argued that BN's pet policy to achieve this goal, the New Economic Policy, is not working, as it is not bearing any fruit; things are not much better for the Bumiputras despite 30 years of the NEP.
   

Well, people don't call it the Never Ending Policy for nothing, you know! After all, the Bumiputras have been subjugated for over 400 years (okay, more like 350), since the fall of Malacca. (Never mind that many Bumiputras didn't have anything to do in Malacca, since their ancestors were in East Malaysia.) Surely you don't expect us to end the NEP after only 30 years?

Moreover, we should not simply adopt the ways of other countries as our own. For many other countries, when a particular policy is not producing the wanted results, they drop it and replace it with a new one.

This is not a Malaysian practice, and we should not adopt it. (Although we should eagerly embrace the ways of the Arabs as our own — Malaysia, Truly Saudi Arabia!)

The reason other countries drop failing policies is because they lack the ketabahan and diligence to see them through. Our brave and courageous leaders in BN are willing to forge a new path and do something no other country dares to do — continue a failing policy and see it through until it somehow succeeds. After all, that is the glokal way!

4. BN will continue to develop and improve our education system so it can produce thinking and creative Malaysians. Some accuse our education system of being too examination-centred; others say it is too focused on rote memorisation.
   

Still others believe that all our education system does is brainwash our students with propaganda. There are even those who criticise policies necessary for racial harmony on the grounds that they prevent intellectual development.

That's all bullshit, folks. Under BN, more and more people are scoring straight As, so clearly our exam-centred system is producing results!

You might claim that few, if any, of these straight A scorers can think or innovate, and that their minds have been shackled by the education system. But that's obviously a lie, because if that were true, they could not score straight As! Our exam system is perfect!

People might say that there aren't enough teachers, since physics teachers have to teach biology. But obviously these people have not heard that Malaysian teachers are the finest in the world — not only can they deeply master more than one subject, but they can also have the necessary interest and passion to make any subject come alive! After all, aren't they the ones who teach all these straight A scorers? (Let's just ignore the fact that most of them attended tuition, shall we?)

Yes, my fellow Malaysians, BN has done a brilliant job of educating our young. That's why our civil service, which by the way is the epitome of efficiency and competency, has to hire so many of our fresh graduates to prevent them from being classified as unemployed when nobody else will hire them. (Trust me, it's the fault of those companies which don't recognise the value of our education.)

5. BN shares power with all its component parties. Some unemployed female bloggers have been spreading this lie that only UMNO holds any real power in BN, and that the other parties are its lapdogs, meaning that the only community with any representation in the government is the Malay community.
   

That's simply not true. All but one of the non-Muslim Cabinet ministers did submit a memorandum to the Prime Minister expressing their concern about religious freedom some time back, and all of them did retract it, but that is not a sign of suppression of the non-UMNO parties. It simply means that these parties have recognised and deferred to the superior wisdom of our leaders in UMNO.

A few people will try to bring up how the MCA is always forced to shut up when it raises issues of concern to the non-Malay communities, and how the MIC never has anything to say about the oppression of the Indians, but again, it's all poppycock. The BN philosophy is one of power-sharing — trust us!

Of course, there are the naysayers who will say these non-Malay Cabinet members are just there to grant government contracts to cronies and take a cut of the proceeds — they're in politics to make money, not to represent the non-Malays or Malaysians. Well, this is just another lie spread by unemployed female bloggers — don't fall for it.