Ten Reasons to Vote Barisan Nasional (Part 2)

Have you already read the first five reasons to return the ruling Barisan Nasional regime to power in the next general election? No? See why our wise and self-sacrificing leaders in Barisan Nasional deserve our vote before continuing on to this part.

1. BN will get tough on crime. A few irresponsible politicians who hate Malaysia have been trying to smear the name of the courageous and honest Royal Malaysian Police. These people are liars, just like the unemployed female bloggers who want our country to die.
   

Naysayers of course have a million arguments for why BN has failed the rakyat on crime. Thieves have stolen the metal from the fences of Sultans. Former police inspectors who survived the communist insurgency die at the hands of burglars in their homes. Even Ministers' homes are raided by robbers. And some even claim that the crime rate in Kuala Lumpur nearly doubled in the first few months of 2007.

Well, what do you expect from these people who hate Malaysia? They are the real criminals, and they are spreading lies. The Royal Malaysian Police is as able as ever, and always ready to protect and serve. There is certainly no hanky-panky about duit kopi — not ever since our clever leaders in BN began distributing "Saya Anti-Rasuah" buttons.

The only problem with crime in Malaysia is these hooligans and rabblerousers who accuse the government and police of not doing their jobs properly. These are the true criminals, and if you re-elect BN with a larger majority, you can be assured that the government will lock them up with its powers under the state of emergency that has been in force for 40 years to ensure they can never harm the country again.


2. BN will remain accountable to the rakyat. Whenever you have a grievance, you will always have your helpful leaders in BN to rely on. These helpful young men were recently seen in Ijok, serving the local residents:
   







When asked questions, our leaders in BN will take them head on and answer them frankly and curtly. There will be no beating about the bush, and definitely no dodging of questions by bringing up a totally irrelevant point. Just see this demonstration:




3. BN is not arrogant or self-serving. It certainly does not let power go to its head, and its leaders continue to make major sacrifices for the rakyat. Anyone remember the time when Ong Ka Ting rode on the LRT? Just imagine all he gave up for the ride with the commuters.
   

That is why if we re-elect BN, they will be able to continue serving us — unlike those arrogant egoists in the opposition who make a big fuss out of spending years in jail for criticising our wise and benevolent BN government. They're nothing more than common criminals.

If you reward BN with your votes, they will reward you as well. Just check out this testimonial if you don't believe me:




4. BN will ensure zero poverty in Malaysia. You might remember that the number one reason BN has been so successful in its stewardship of the country is because of how they have developed our economy.
   

After all, who can forget the signs of progress we can see everywhere? We have potholed roads, leaky pipes, unreliable electricity service, a monopolised and inefficient telecommunications industry — the list goes on and on.

Sure, there are people who will bring up spurious claims about our economic progress. They might point out that statistics show that the income gap in the Malay community has widened under the Never Ending Policy (which, as was explained in the first five reasons to vote BN, is never ending for a good reason).

Or they might show that our Gini coefficient, which measures income inequality, is worse than that of basket cases such as the Philippines. They might even recklessly claim that there are still people starving to death in Malaysia.

These are all lies, lies, lies! Just like Lim Teck Ghee, who refused to use the glokal and cemerlang, gemilang dan terbilang way to calculate the Bumiputra share of economic equity (and thus producing the malicious falsehood that Bumiputras already control more than 30% of the country's equity), the unemployed female bloggers who make these claims are not using the government-approved methodology.

That's why it's so undeniably clear BN has brought true and lasting development to the Malaysian economy. There's certainly no such thing as a "no maintenance culture" or poor provision of services because they were all contracted out to incompetent cronies — absolutely not!


5. Last but not least, BN will be fair and honest with all Malaysians. They will not discriminate against any class of Malaysians because of race or religion.
   

BN's leaders will certainly not accuse any race of being pendatang asing. Neither will they tell anyone to balik tongsan, nor will they make ill-informed comments about our national identity.

And, of course, they would never, ever lie to us about the nature of our social contract. They would not tell us that it enshrines ketuanan Melayu, when in reality it was meant to ensure equality for all Malaysian communities.

And that is why, friends, Romans Arabs and countrymen, we must all rise up in unison and consign the political opposition in Malaysia to the dustheap of history. They cannot hold a candle to the brilliance that is our lovely and courageous government led by the sincere and striving men and women of Barisan Nasional.

With this in mind, I know that each and every one of you who enters the voting booth on polling day will know which box to mark. There can be only one choice — the glorious dacing of our supreme overlords in Barisan Nasional!