This is, as Weird Al Yankovic might sing, "a homepage for my dog" — the cutest, silliest, craziest dog ever, I might add. His hilarious escapades could fill a short and not particularly good paperback novel. Some of them (which I unfortunately do not have pictures of) include attempting to rape two of my friend's dogs, failing at playing ball with my neighbour's dog, numerous attempts to rape all my cats (including the male ones), and one proposition of marriage to a cat of mine whose gender is unknown.
To compensate for my utter failure to capture any of these indelible moments on digital camera, I have collected a number of other pictures which I hope will waste enough of your life to make you hate me till your dying day. Enjoy!
One of Storm's favourite moods is quiet, pensive moping. This is the best picture of him in such a state that I could find.
I've nicknamed Storm "The Green-Eyed Monster" — for obvious reasons, I hope. Just an eerie effect of the camera, fortunately — although it would be undescribably cool to have a real green-eyed dog.
Another common mood of Storm's is utter depression. They say like master, like dog. There's probably some truth to that.
I thought I'd randomly insert some pictures of my room, where Storm was caught in his moods. As you can see, he has good reason to be quiet, pensive, and utterly depressed. With masters like me, who needs animal abusers?
More green-eyed monsterness.
Storm likes to lick himself down there. No comment.
Another one of Storm's moods is extreme hunger and desperation. Here, the green-eyed monster climbs onto my leg, hoping for a snack.
I forgot to mention that the previous picture, together with this, was taken on Christmas Day at our dinner. This here's a picture of my family. No prizes for guessing which one Storm is. I think the cat my sister is holding is one he's tried to rape before. We disagree over what gender he is; I call him a boy, she calls him a girl. Since this is Storm's homepage, and Storm couldn't care less what the gender of his rapees is, we'll call him a boy.
A few days after Christmas, the cats Storm tried to rape engaged in a most devious plot with him to steal our food. The fatass that he is, Storm couldn't possibly climb up to the table to take our lamb chops, so the cats went and did it for him. Now here he is, contemplating his meal, and how he's going to get a piece of that hot feline ass later.
It's hard work chewing the food that was stolen for you by the cats you frequently sexually assault. Check out just how hard he had to work on YouTube.
Storm has no mercy on recent mothers. Observe how he leers at the mother cat and her child.
- Dog with a fetish for cats
- Kitten without a fear of dogs
- Cat without a fear of dogs
- Annoying teenaged sister with a complete fear of cats and dogs getting into her room and messing up her beautiful bed
If you've seen my MSN display picture, you know what this is. Bet you didn't know what he was staring at till now, though. Apparently he's not just into inter-species intercourse, he has no problem with inter-generational intercourse either. (By the way, a week or two later, he assaulted the mother cat in an attempt to get to the kitten.)
The mother cat understandably carries her child away...
So now Storm morphs into the Red Eyed Monster.
He has another incarnation, the Benevolent Black Eyed Monster.
Being benevolent won't prevent him from looking at you with an odd stare if you grab his ass, though.
'
Now he laughs like a maniac.
Let's end this page by freaking you out with a really, really weird picture.